I had another idea of what I wanted to write today, but this feels like a better rabbit hole to dive down today. After all philosophies and practices I can write about any day, whereas this is an active feeling and acceptance.
I wanted to go out tonight to try meet some new people, meet some potentially new friends, but upon getting back from work, I was just too tired and my body said no. Even on the way home from work I was struggling to find the effort. There are a few reasons that I have allowed myself to feel OK about not going to a meet tonight.
- My body has actively said it doesn’t want to.
There is a difference between “I can’t be bothered” and “I can’t”. I never used to let myself see the difference, I was either lazy or not, did or didn’t. Had I got home feeling fresh and still not gone because the couch was calling, that would be lazy. Today I came to the realisation that I was burning my reserve energy and it’s a Thursday. That means that I would be left mentally and physically exhausted with another day of work where I can’t just sleep it off. Burning the candle at both ends is never a good idea. Allowing yourself guilt when you notice that candle burning too rapidly is also not a good idea. Feel free to listen to your body and your heart. They are generally telling you what you need, just listen.
- Sometimes you have to prioritise.
Without going into too much detail, I need to sit down with some people and have a proper chat. It’s also OK to put little things on the back burner when the important things need that attention.
- Breakdown the rarity.
This is a weekly event. Next week it will happen again, I can always go in the future. If I actively plan for that to take place I can also make sure I get enough rest, eat enough food and be proactive in ensuring my body has the best shot of seeing a social activity through.
- Don’t let the past guilt rest on your shoulders.
“This will be another one you miss” was uttered to me. While yes that is true and I have given up hope of going previously, that was in a different mind state. I am actively trying to seek more purposeful decisions, an activity I can admit I haven’t always given proper value. In the past, the couch or a Netflix binge would be enough to turn me around. Now I am actively weighing up the important things. Will this bring me value? Yes. Will it be the best use of my time in the long run? Maybe not. I’m starting to learn that letting the actions of the past find refuge in the decisions of today will help no one. Make informed decisions, if it turns out a decision was wrong – don’t dwell on that; learn why it was a bad decision and avoid making that choice in the future.